1. During the installation you need to set the IP address/username/password to the remote SQL server.
2. There should not be a problem to use the same database for backend/font end. Out of the box there are not public controls that allow CRUD operations ( but it is possible to create such controls). You should grant CRUD operations over your database for ASP.NET Worker process account. You can disable backend login for public users by setting CmsAccess to deny from Sitefinity >> Administration >> Permissions.
3. You could install the project locally and then migrate it to your IIS server.
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